Here’s how I’m seeing things currently:
My apartment does not have central AC in Florida, I don’t get paid what I deserve, I was just told by my landlady that she’s selling my place, I have to take medications every day to be at a base level of happy, I go to bed alone, I’m stuck working an 8-5 and trying to figure out a side hustle for the foreseeable future because: bills, I have a car payment now after an accident totaled the car I nearly paid off and loved, I miss my dad, and my level of physical fitness is sad.
Those are the things I think.
Here’s what I am constantly encouraging myself to replace those thoughts with:
I have an apartment that I can afford in a place that I like and enough income to buy fans, I enjoy the work that I do and the people I work with – plus I just spoke up about my rate so I’ve said my belief to the person who matters and we’ll see what happens, there are always housing options – they may not be perfect but they might just be even better, I don’t have to take medications to stay alive – I have learned coping mechanisms and have a support system – it would just be a decrease in quality of life, my bed is empty because I’m waiting for my perfect partner in crime and am done settling (let me tell you it took an embarrassing amount of time to learn that) – plus I have my new kitty Ellie who likes to sleep at my feet, I can see there’s a way out of the corporate grind and I am working my way toward it – in the meantime I don’t HATE my job like most people do, I survived two car accidents in the span of a month – suck it up, I have a mom and a brother that I love and I have so so many good memories of my dad, and DAMMIT JESSIE – you have no right to complain if you choose cupcakes over bike rides – quit making excuses!
So that’s my little internal monologue of practicing gratitude rather than negative entitlement.
Put my best foot forward and I’m bound to get SOMEWHERE.
Also, here’s my kitty, Ellie, she makes me smile. Even when she interrupts my reading. And my one AC unit, it makes me happy too.