Farewell, 2017, you were. . . you just were. (part II)

wishing you a very

Where did I leave off? Ahh yes. . . August. . . (part I)

August. . .
Nothing terribly exciting happened in August. I kept up with physical and mental health therapy. Thanks to the mental health therapy I was better able to navigate the hiccups of early relationships – or at least, the hiccups I seem to have (seem to create, maybe?). Therapy has given me a lot of room to think in my head – in the good way. I’ve always thought too much but now therapy has helped me pause and challenge those thought patterns. Though I just recently realized I could use some more work with negative thought patterns. . . I should look into that when I get health insurance again.

September. . .
September was more of the same with a work trip thrown in. We had corporate training where I expressed my fair share of common sense and equality-promoting ideas which didn’t seem to jive well. I had gotten to the point of being fed up with the injustices I was seeing across the company and couldn’t really bite my tongue any more.

October. . .
One of my fellowship fellows somehow managed to get a comped ticket to a local women’s conference and the caliber of the speakers was PHENOMENAL. It was an energizing experience and helped boost me back up to previous levels of excitement about my creative goals. I had been wavering since the end of the fellowship in June and being surrounded by these women was SO GOOD. The boo and I threw a Halloween party at my house! We had to postpone it from one weekend to another, which I think threw people off, so attendance was kind of low (only one of his friends showed up, and only a handful of mine) but we decorated the house TO THE NINES. It was SO GOOD. I’m super excited for next year’s party! Also, the boo said “I love you” – yay to that! We took a composting class together and though I haven’t set it all up yet, I’m excited to eventually get a little garden out back.

November. . .
Turkey day!!!! I hosted Thanksgiving at my house for the first time. The boo, my ma, and my brother all spent the day together. It was quite nice. I went to the boo’s Thanksgiving as well, his family did it on the weekend after. So I got to meet his family! It was fun, I like them.

December. . .
And now to today, the last day of December. I have to admit, I have a bit of a bitter taste in my mouth about December. Glass is half full: I’m travelling with the boo for New Years, currently beside a fireplace (because it’s freezing here and we’ve got Florida blood) and writing on my blog because I want to actually do something for myself this upcoming year as a potential career. I did 3 mind mapping sessions with facebook friends (so two I don’t really know at all, one I do know pretty well) to help them identify and plan out goals for the new year. It was a lot of fun – in a challenging and rewarding way. I gave them all homework and will be following up in two weeks. I’ve been painting a lot more and am working on another website to cater to selling to corporate clients (you can check out my attempt at a stop gap measure here!). Glass is half empty: I was “laid off” from the company and job I had been with for just a month shy of 5 years so I’m existing off of my paltry savings (remember when I bought a house 7 months ago, that was a lot of money down) and a meager “reemployment” contribution from the government. I interviewed with a dream job and am waiting to find out if I made it to round two of interviews. I’m applying left and right to other jobs – both potentially dream jobs and the “holy crap I have to pay a mortgage so I’ll take whatever I can get” jobs. This went down on the 8th so it’s been a shit-tastically tainted Christmas (thanks, bossman) but I’m hoping the new year will wash away bad vibes and I can start accumulating the good ones again. Fingers crossed!!! I’m terrified of not having health insurance, I’m trying to get over being mad about the “lay off”, I’m working on keeping my stress levels low about being unemployed, but I’m very grateful for my tribe – my family, friends, and boo – they’re all cheering me on and offering to help. I’m excited about the prospects of bigger and better things – even things like becoming a life coach or artist – OR BOTH!!! But that excitement is punctuated with moments of panic and depression – so, ya know, one day at a time.

2018 summary. . . bought a house, got a good boo, lost my job. Weeeeee!!!!!!!! Oh! I forgot that an old friend and I joined forces to challenge each other in losing weight – and we did really well for a while. I lost 15 pounds and looked and felt SO GOOD. But then, not so much. So I’m back up like 9 pounds but I know I can get to where I was before, and she does too, so yeah, we’re gonna be two more of those “New Years weight loss” people. But we did a trial run this last year!

If these wrap up posts sound a little robotic it’s likely because I feel a little robotic at the keyboard. I haven’t had the drive to write, to publish my feelings, in a very long time (obvs!) but part of having a blog and wanting to get better at writing is JUST WRITING – even when you think it’s crap or you’re dragging your feet to do it. If you read all of this, thank you for sticking with me. I’m hoping this year will bring more dynamic posts with life coaching and mental health posts meant to help the reader as much as they help me. I can’t tell you how good it felt when I got texts from the women I mind mapped with saying that I had helped them tremendously and was genuinely good at it (they’re my guinea pigs so I told them to give me honest feedback on how I do, the worksheets and homework I give them, and their experience overall). I love love love enabling, encouraging, and empowering others to be their best, happiest self.

I hope y’all have a great New Years Eve!!!!! 2018 should be. . . . (you fill in the blank with what YOU want it to be!). . . .

Farewell, 2017, you were. . . you just were. (part I)

Dear 2017. . .

Where do I even start with you?

You brought us number 45 which has been a dark circus of epic proportions.

wishing you a very

January. . .
I started mental health therapy because I wanted to try to start dating again and I had some baggage I needed to work through. I was also doing physical therapy after months of chiropractic care for a car accident in 2016 wasn’t helping. Physical therapy helped throughout the year but holy crap my back and neck will never be the same and realizing that SUCKS. I was looking to buy a house because my landlord sold my apartments at the end of 2016 and that woke me up then made me dream of owning my own place. I started the search – which was fun. . . at first. I went to the Women’s March in DC! It was a last minute opportunity so I hopped on a bus with a bunch of (admittedly predominantly white) women and sat for hours on end on a bus from Florida to the capitol to help tell the world to fuck off if they think we’re cool with a locker room talking pussy-grabber being the figure head of our country. It felt pretty good. I started a six month fellowship for young progressives – taking up one weekend of each month from January to June of 2017. Each weekend would teach me more about how to help change the world through leadership and policy change – while connecting me with my fellowship class (they are AMAZING people) and local leaders who have helped me SO MUCH this year. January was a weekend of opening up to 24 of my peers more than I’d opened up even to ex’s – within a 48 hour period. It was fantastic. It reignited my passion to launch an art studio/community space/creative incubator/store front for local creators. I saw Lala Land, which ok, yes, it’s like the most basic movie ever but I freaking love it. I admit it. I watched it a bunch (I had free movie coupons!) and now I own it on DVD. Judge away, you judgers!

February. . .
I had the weirdest encounter with my neighbors across the way where I intervened on a boyfriend treating a girlfriend super shitty while she was having a panic attack. I ended up on the floor of their apartment with her, telling him what to do (and not do) and talking to her parents on the phone to get them to come over. So surreal. I also ended up at a surrealist art exhibit later that day so ya know, fitting. I started going to local activism events for Black Lives Matter and local Muslim mosques thanks to my fellowship fellows. I signed papers on a house that fell through – this would be a recurring thing.

March. . .
I grew impatient with the house buying because something would come up then quickly fall through. I had been doing well in therapy and then was waiting on a house to go through so I could start dating but then. . . I got bored one night and signed up on some apps and then started swiping and one thing led to another and I just kind of started dating. Dating on apps is kind of terrible. Thanks to my fellowship I was meeting more helpful connections in my community and getting even more traction with my studio plotting.

April. . .
I started closing on the house of my dreams in the neighborhood I wanted and within my price range!!!! Then it dragged on. . . and on. . . and closing dates changed. . . and changed. . . and changed. . . I packed and lived in a half-packed apartment unsure of where I’d be living from day to day. I started going on actual real life dates! With real life people! In fact, I went on like 4 dates in one week! With 4 different people!!! GO ME! I ended up going on a date that would lead to a relationship that I’m still in today (also, go me!). I attended a women’s conference in Florida with my ma – it was pretty alright.

May. . .
After I was supposed to close on the 5th on my very own 1925 bungalow version of Barbie’s dream house. . . that day came and went. . . AGAIN. It wouldn’t be until the 17th that I would sign my life away and get the keys to my FREAKING HOUSE. MY HOUSE. I LIVE IN A HOUSE NOW WHERE I PAY A MORTGAGE AND NOT RENT. I also pay every time the AC craps out, so ya know, there’s that. I continued going to therapy weekly. I was dating a couple guys when a moment of “you’re not a ‘fuck yes’, are you?” with the current boo ended in me saying “If I’m not a fuck yes for you, you’re a no for me” and that was over – for almost a week. Then he texted and we talked and I cut things off with the other guys and now, he and I are doing well! *swoon!* Oh, and in May there was a super fun company picnic that I had the super fun task of planning and running and I ended up crying and having to call the cops because the people who took over the pavilion I reserved at a park wouldn’t leave. SUPER FUN.

June. . .
I learned that the company I had been working for was merging our Florida operations in July. That was stressful news but I figured I had been there longer than the other admin staff in my office so I’d be ok. I turned 33! Apparently that’s your “Jesus year” – you know, when he did all of his miracles and helping people and stuff. I don’t know. I “graduated” my fellowship program! I didn’t FINISH my business plan but I put together a good presentation and felt pretty good about it. I still don’t technically have a plan but I’m a work in progress. I’m ok with that.

July. . .
The month started off with my housewarming party. It was actually a lot of fun – I had stressed a lot about it leading up (surprise!). I pressured myself to have everything ready – which it definitely was NOT. I got a lot done and it looked good – including a PILLOW FORT ROOM. No lie. I’m a 33 year homeowner with a pillow fort room. My fellowship fellows showed up en masse as well as my new boo, AND! My mom and my brother were there! It was a bit awkward at first to have all of my groups collide but it ended up perfectly alright. Phew! I got to attend a political campaign bootcamp – it was an intense weekend-long shebang and I survived.

 

And that wraps up the part I of my not-really-epic saga of 2017. I’m hoping 2018 brings more friendships, successes, the kind of failures I can learn from, love, learning, and GOOD TIMES. And yeah, a dash of world domination would be rad too.